King Of The Hill Porn Story: Bowling Green Chapter 2
King of the Hill
Bowling
Green
written by: Mr. Semaj
Act
II
Scene I –
Recruiting Members
On Monday, during
lunch hour, Bobby has a discussion with the Student Activities
Chairperson, Daniel, about his new proposal for a bowling team.
Daniel: “I
don’t know, Bobby. Bowling doesnt seem to be very popular around
here. And we already have enough problems with our lacrosse team.”
Bobby: “I
promise you, Daniel, it’ll be really great!”
“This is just the
kind of thing Arlen High needs; a winning sports team! With my
supervision, I guarantee you a trophy before the end of the school
year!”
Daniel ponders the
thought…
Daniel: “Bobby,
you got yourself a team!” (shakes hand)
Bobby: “All
right!” (clenches fist)
Later, Bobby designs a
poster, and makes many copies in the school’s print room.
He posts flyers on all
of the high school bulletin boards announcing his new bowling team.
Bowling tryouts are scheduled for Tuesdays and Fridays.
Some of the students
murmur over the bulletin, as they decide whether this is the correct
sport for them.
The next day, after
school, the first assembly is held at the bowling alley for bowling
tryouts.
Bobby: “So,
this is the whole team?”
The team before him
consists of Joseph, Dooley, and Clark.
Dooley: “Where’s
the free food?”
Bobby: “Look
guys, people may not know about or even appreciate bowling as much as
they should, but once we get out skills toned, we will redefine the
sport in the tri-county area!”
“Who’s with
me?”
Brief silence.
Dooley: “I
want a pretzel.”
(Bobby sighs)
Scene II – Getting
it Together
The next evening, The
Arlen Aeronauts attend their own bowling meeting.
As everyone puts on
their green bowling uniforms, Strickland makes his opening speech.
Strickland: “Now,
I’m sure all of you have had some experience in the sport of
bowling?” (Team nods affirmatively)
“That saves us some
time. Okay, show me what ya got!”
Donna goes up first,
and throws the ball down the lane. She gets seven of the ten pins.
The Aeronauts applaud.
Donna picks up the
spare.
The Aeronauts applaud.
Next is Joe Jack’s
turn. He manages to get a strike following a very powerful throw with
his ball.
The Aeronauts cheer
and whistle.
Enrique is up next. He
has a hard time throwing the ball, and manages to knock down five
pins.
No response from the
team.
Enrique goes up, and
knock down four more pins.
The team responds with
unenthusiastic applause.
Next is Hank, the most
experienced of the four. He picks up his bowling ball, focuses, and
throws it. He manages to get a strike.
The team applauds.
As the game continues,
Hank, Joe Jack, Donna, and Enrique each express a varying degree of
success.
In the end, the scores
are about medium-high range; Hank – 179, Donna – 167, Joe Jack – 173,
Enrique – 155.
After two more games,
and by the end of the meeting, each team mate has tuned their skills
to satisfactory results.
Strickland:
“Excellent! You’ve all made Buck very proud!
“Help yourselves to
a round of beer…your treat!”
The team makes
unenthusiastic compliments.
Strickland: “At
this rate, we’ll be beating Thatherton and his goons with our eyes
shut!”
Scene III – Finding
Help
That night, as Hank
walks through the front door at home, Bobby seeks his guidance.
Bobby: “Dad,
I got around to making my new bowling team…”
Hank: “All
right, son!”
Bobby: “But
there’s only a few people interested, and they don’t know the first
thing about bowling!”
Hank: “Son,
no one said that the game of bowling can be mastered overnight.”
Bobby: “But
Dad, we can’t seem to locate a coach for our team!”
Hank: “Didn’t
you ask any of the professionals at the bowling alley?”
Bobby: “They’re
all tied down to obligations for their own teams.”
“Please, Dad. You
gotta help me! If I don’t get this team off the ground, they won’t
include it in our next yearbook!”
Hank: (sigh)
“This is a big dilemma for me, Bobby. No high school should
exclude bowling from their list of sports. But I’m already committed
to my own bowling team at Strickland Propane. If they win, they get
the first dibbs on a sale we’re both having at the end of the month.”
Bobby:
“Pleeeeeeease?”
Hank: “Okay.
When’s your next meeting?”
Bobby: “This
Friday at 4:30.”
Hank: “Good.
Our meetings are on Mondays and Wednesdays. That balances things
out.”
Scene IV – The New
Couple
At the end of the
school day, Joseph has packed up his stuff, and is ready to head
home. Connie walks up to him.
Connie: “Hey,
Joseph.”
Joseph: “Hi,
Connie.”
Connie: “Anything
new?”
Joseph: “Not
much.”
Connie: “Hey,
I was wondering…If you’re not busy some time, we can…get together
and, you know, talk and junk?”
Joseph?
Joseph has a puzzled
look on his face. Although he has admired Connie, he had previously
failed time and again to actually go out with her.
But instead of asking
questions, he seizes the opportunity.
Joseph: “Sure.
Call me.”
Connie smiles and
walks away.
Later, at the
Gribbles’ residence, Joseph talks with Dale and Nancy.
Dale!
Dale: “She
said WHAT!”
Joseph: “Dude,
I’m not kidding. After all these years, Connie finally said ‘yes’!
This is the best day of my life!”
Dale: “So,
this ‘Connie’ says ‘yes’ when ordinarily she’d say ‘no’. I’ll have to
stop by the Souphanousinphones some time for some alien scanning…”
Nancy: “Oh,
congratulations, Sug! Your first real girlfriend!” (hugs
Joseph)
Dale: “…and
of course, I will need to use my ultraviolet light to detect any
alien captives. You remember, Nancy? That one time I used it when you
were in the bathtub–“
Nancy: “SUG!”
Dale: “Sorry,
geez.”
Scene V – New Coach
On Friday, Bobby
gathers the team for their second meeting.
Bobby: “Team,
I would like to introduce you to our new coach: Hank Hill!”
Brief silence.
Dooley: “You
got your dad?”
Joseph: “Dude,
are you sure nobody’s gonna notice?”
Hank: “No
they won’t. Bobby doesn’t get special treatment. He addresses me as
‘Coach Hill’ like the rest of you during games.”
Bobby: “Thanks,
Dad, eh, Coach.” (smiles)
“People, one of the
key ingredients to successful bowling is experience. Coach Hill
happens to be very experienced, one of the most experienced in Arlen.
We’d be committing a crime not to have him as our leader!”
Clark: “What
crime?”
Bobby: “Moral
ignorance! Thats what!”
Dooley picks up a
spare in his final frame, where the first game draws to a close.
At the end of the
game, the scores are collected: Bobby – 106, Joseph – 88, Dooley –
94, Clark – 84.
At the next Tuesday
game, Hank has an important announcement.
Hank: Everyone,
we may not be getting off to a great start, but even the Cowboys have
a few dry periods once in a while.
Nevertheless, I got
something to show everybody that were out here and soon to be seen
on the horizon.
Hank hands out red
shirts, labeled The Arlen Aviators, complete with a plane symbol.
Joseph: “New
uniforms!”
Hank: “If
we’re gonna be a winning team, we gotta look like one!”
The Arlen Aviators,
with their growing confidence, play three excellent games with their
new uniforms.
The final scores are
in: Bobby – 124, Joseph – 105, Dooley – 110, Clark – 99.
The opposing team
complains to their coach about their lack of uniforms.
Boy #1: You
still havent got us uniforms yet!
Boy #2: What a
cheapskate!
Joseph talks a bit
with Coach Hank Hill.
Joseph: “How
did we do, Coach?”
Hank: “Well,
you’re not perfect, but you all show some promise, so that’s a good
thing.”
Scene VI – Special
Edition
One week later, in
the late night hours, Peggy is typing on a computer, while looking at
an article about an upcoming waterfront festival.
As she continues
typing, she sips on a cup of coffee.
Peggy starts writing
down notes on a notepad. The ink runs dry in the ink pen.
As she reaches for a
new pen, she knocks over some papers, and discovers another article
from a magazine: “Bowling: Americas Forgotten Sport?”
Peggy ignores her
waterfront essay, and starts getting to work on a new bowling
article.
The next day, the
Sports headline features the main story: “New Bowling Champs –
The Arlen Aviators & Aeronauts!”
Minor article: “Record
Low Attendance at Waterfront Festival”
Scene VII – Missing
Teammate
Crowds appear at the
Arlen Bowling Center on Friday, as they discuss the headline about
the fledging bowling teams.
Meanwhile, Hank
oversees Bobby’s discussion at their current meeting.
Bobby: “Has
anyone seen Joseph lately?”
Dooley: “Nope”
Clark: “Nuh-uh.”
Bobby: “Dang!
We were just starting to find our stride.”
Hank: “Bobby,
for whatever member is absent, the remaining team has to compensate.”
“Whether or not you
find your stride, you’ll still succeed at showing pride.”
Bobby: “Okay,
Dad.”
Bobby goes up to bowl.
He tosses the ball down the lane. The ball hits the pins. He gets
nine.
The team applauds.
Bobby tries to pick up
the spare, but misses.
Hank: “You
gave it your best shot, son.”
Clark is up next. He
tries to replay Hank’s words in his head.
“For whatever
member is absent, the remaining team has to compensate.”
Clark throws the ball.
It hits five pins. He throws the ball down a second time, and picks
up three pins. He begins to get nervous.
Next, it’s Dooley’s
turn. He throws the ball down the lane, and only gets one pin.
On his next throw, he
too tries to replay Hank’s words.
“Whether or not
you find your stride, you’ll succeed at showing pride.”
Dooley throws the
ball, which curves, and makes a gutter.
Dooley: “My
pride is gone.”
The team loses another
practice round with the Witcita Wringers, a rival bowling team from
Witcita Falls High School.
Scores: Bobby – 98,
Joseph – 0, Dooley – 90, Clark – 81.
Just then, a voice
calls Bobby from the other side of the alley.
Daniel: “Hey
Bobby!” (walks over with a stern look on his face)
Bobby: “Uh-oh.”
Daniel sees the poor
scores for the team.
Daniel: “Tsk,
tsk, tsk. And a truant teammate?”
“Bobby, the more I
look at this team, the more I think my decision was a mistake.”
(walks away)
Hank: “Huh,
so that’s your Student Activities Chairperson?” (team nods
affirmatively)
“Let’s take a
break.”
The team heads over to
the restaurant as the grumble to themselves with their heads hanging
in shame…
Scene VIII –
Meditation
One Tuesday after
school, Joseph spends time at Connie’s house. The two spend some time
meditating to a Buddhist statue.
But Joseph has trouble
concentrating.
Joseph: “Uh,
Connie?”
Connie: “Shhh!”
Joseph: “But
I have a question.”
Connie: “Ugh,
now you made me lose my center!”
Joseph: “Why
exactly are we doing this?”
Connie: “I
already told you, Joseph. Meditating is the best way to earn
enlightment, and inner peace. It requires absolute silence.”
Joseph: “So
that’s why you’re able to put up with so much junk everyday?”
Connie: “I
guess. All you need to do is concentrate.”
Joseph: “Okay.”
The two resume
meditating, but are interrupted when a low grumbling sound is heard.
Joseph’s stomach is
growling.
Joseph: (chuckles)
“Sorry. I’ll be right back. I’m just gonna make a sandwich.”
Connie makes a
frustrated sigh.
Scene IX –
Barbershop
On Friday, at Jack’s
Barbershop, Luanne finishes fixing up Connie’s hair for her next
date.
Connie: “Wow,
it’s so pretty!”
Luanne: “Thanks,
but I could’ve done it at home for free.”
Connie: “No,
I owe you one. Thank you, Lu!” (hands her 10 dollars)
Connie walks out the
door. A moment later, Bobby shows up.
Bobby: “Luanne,
I need a trim before my next bowling meeting.”
Luanne: “Right
away, Bobby.”
Luanne begins combing
Bobby’s hair, up until she decides to ask him a burning question.
Luanne: “Um,
Bobby?”
Bobby: “Yeah?”
Luanne: “You
know you and Connie haven’t dated in…”
Bobby: “A
long time? Indeed.”
Luanne: “How
would you feel if she started dating another guy?”
Bobby: “It
doesn’t matter if Connie dates another guy. Besides…she my Math and
Science tutor.”
Luanne: “Thank
God! It’s about time Joseph found himself a girl!”
Bobby: “Huh?”
Luanne: “I’m
just sayin’…Without you, he seems kinda lonely.”
Bobby: “I
know what you mean.”
“By the way, if you
see Joseph, tell him he’s due on the team tomorrow.”
Luanne sighs of relief
as she continues trimming Bobby’s hair.
Scene X – Keeping
Up
When the Arlen
Aeronauts practice bowling the next day, Donna, Joe Jack, and Enrique
improve as they go along. Hank, however, has a tough time keeping up.
When he’s up to bowl,
he is unable to focus. He throws the ball, and only manages to hit
one pin.
Scores: Hank – 112,
Donna – 183, Joe Jack – 172, Enrique – 164.
Strickland:
“Got-danggit, Hank! What’s wrong? You’re dragging the whole team
down!”
Hank: “Sorry,
sir. I… (yawn) can’t seem to get enough rest these days.”
Joe Jack: “Honey,
you better get as much as you can before the big game. Thatherton is
gonna bulldoze all of us unless we give him our best, and then some!”
Thatherton: “Hey,
Buck!”
Waves tauntingly at
him, then walks away.
Strickland: “Our
only handicap is you Hank! You alone will make or break this team.”
Hank gets very
stressed.
Scene XI – New
Member
The following week,
after a few more games, Bobby has an important announcement.
Bobby: “Team,
in light of Joseph’s chronic absence, I took my dad’s advice, and got
a new team member.”
Goth Girl: “What
up?”
Dooley: “She’s
not very colorful.”
Goth Girl: “Maybe
not physically, but verbally.”
Clark: “Bobby,
are you sure about this?”
Bobby: “Desperate
times call for desperate measures.”
“Show the team your
skills.”
Goth Girl walks up to
the platform with a black ball. She pauses in stance, throws, and
bowls a strike.
Clark: (scoffs)
“Lucky.”
Goth Girl bowls
several more times, each time getting a strike, much to the boys’
awe.
Clark: “I’m
without words.”
Dooley: “She’s
a natural.”
Bobby: “Then
it’s settled. Welcome to the team!” (shakes her hand)
Scene XII – Under
New Management
At the end of the next
game, the scores improve. Bobby – 130, Goth Girl – 185, Dooley – 126,
Clark – 109.
As the Arlen Aviators
begin to make improvements, they notice their coach, Hank, is feeling
quite fatigued.
Goth Girl: “Coach
Hill, you’re dozing off..in the middle of a game.”
Hank: “I’m
sorry. I’ve been doubling between teams for so long, I barely have
anymore downtime.”
Clark: “But
we’re doing so well under your supervision.”
Bobby: “Yeah,
Dad. If it weren’t for your years of wisdom and experience, we never
would’ve gotten this good.”
The team agrees, as
they make a group hug with their coach.
Hank: (chuckles
uneasily) “Okay, that’s enough.”
Man: “You’re
damn right it is!”
Hank: “Huh?”
The man in question is
none other than Cotton Hill.
Cotton: “Starting
today, “I’m running the show!”
Hank: “Bwah!”
(end of Act II)