Bill gets a rather unusual hobby of an internet troll.
Notes: I do not own King of the Hill, its characters, or
any other copyrighted material.
sulked in his living room feeling very depressed. His life was not
very full to say the least. Sure, he had three friends that cared
about him and a job as an Army barber, but that was really all he had
in his life. Bills life was very dismal and stale. Many people
had called him a loser before, and it made Bill feel even worse.
Bill was fat, bald, and he was divorced by the only woman who was
ever a spouse to Bill.
happened in Bills life. He didnt have many hobbies, friends,
or activities. He needed help getting his life back together. It
all started after he lost his one loveLenore. He was very
doubtful that any woman would ever love him again, and he was too old
and out of shape to take up a sport of any kind. He needed another
activity that would at least make him seem a little less boring.
sighed. What can I do to fix my life? he pondered. Lenore
left me for good, and no other girl likes me. He stared over at
the computer. Hmmmaybe I can do something on the computer to
pass the time. Bill got off the sofa and walked to his somewhat
dated computer. He turned it on and waited for the machine to load.
computer finally turned on, Bill went to a message board on the
internet that he visited from time to time. The message board was
called the INGb. He went to the Family Dude message board on INGb to
see if there were any new posts. As it turned out, there was quite a
lot of chaos on the board. There was spam everywhere. Most of it
was from one user in particular named crn407. He mainly said
negative things about Family Dude without giving a legitimate reason.
read some of crn407s posts, and he giggled at them. They were
funny. One message said, A recent study has proven that Family
Dude fans lack in basic intelligence. One-hundred percent of test
subjects that had an IQ of less than 50 were Family Dude fans.
Therefore, for the sake of your own well being, stop watching Family
Dude. He giggled at the ridiculous statement and read the angry
statements of other internet users who were infuriated by crn407s
know, this almost makes me want to be a troll, Bill said. He then
clicked the New Topic button and typed in the title: My
neighbor watched Family Dude once Bill then finished the
message in the posts body. And my neighbor said that Family
Dude is for dumbasses and losers. Bill clicked the Submit
button and laughed his head off. He refreshed the page numerous
times until he saw that a few people had replied to his message.
Most of them were angry, telling him to get a life. But one message
scared him. The users name was H-HLL, and his message was, Bill,
cut this crap now, or Im gonna beat your ass.
gasped in shock. How did this guy know his name? Did he have some
sort of special hacking ability? Bill just shrugged it off. The guy
probably didnt even know who Bill really was or where he lived.
Bill decided to try more trolling. I know someone whos fat and
bald, Bill typed for the subject. In the body, he said, And he
watches Family Dude. Stop obesity and baldness by sacrificing any
Family Dude viewing. He clicked the Submit button again.
Once more, Bill saw the angry replies of the other users but stopped
dead in his tracks when he saw another message from H-HLL. I mean
it, Bill. I know who you are and where you live. Stop embarrassing
Bill was frightened. H-HLL could have been bluffing, but Bill had
his doubts. Even so, he wanted to see how much he could get away
with. He typed another message. Family Dude is for n00bs! he
declared. Nobody replied to the message except H-HLL. This is
your last chance, Bill. Stop trolling, or Im coming over to kick
Bill decided to stop trolling. But then, without realizing it, Bill
clicked the New Topic button and typed gibberish into the post
without even thinking. He pressed the Submit button. But by
the time Bill realized what hed done, it was too late. He heard
banging on his front door. Bill! Bill! Open the door so I
can kick your ass! Hed heard that voice before. Bill
turned off his computer and ran for his bedroom. At that minute, the
front door burst open, and a mans footsteps thumped down the hall.
He then found Bill cowering behind the bed. The man gave Bill a big
kick in the ass.
cried Bill. Stop, stop! The man kicked Bills ass a few
more times before stopping. Bill turned around and looked up at the
angry man. It was his good friend Hank Hill. Bill grinned
sheepishly at Hank and gave him an innocent wave.