King Of The Hill Porn Story: Back 2 Back Chapter 2
King of
The Hill
A Peggy & Luanne
Episode: “Back 2 Back”
Act
II
Part I: Peggy Calls for Help
(Peggy
pacing the room panickingly)
Peggy:
(hypervenalating) “Oh God! Oohh God! What are we going to
do? What are we going to do?” (stops)
(Peggy
reaches for the glue tube again, sees manufacturing address)
Peggy:
“I know! We will call them, and they will get us out of this
jam!”
Luanne:
“Can’t we just call Unca Hank?”
Peggy:
“Hank must NOT know about this. Luanne, I made a promise
to your uncle that I would not get into any trouble this weekend, and
by God, I’m a wife who’s true to her word!”
(Peggy
pulls out phone book, starts flipping pages)
(Peggy
reaches modeling listings, fingers thru, and points to the reliable
source)
(Peggy
reaches for the telephone, and dials the number)
Lady:
(on the phone) “Apex Discovery Hotline.”
Peggy:
“Yes, this is Peggy Hill, and I am calling in concern for your
modeling products.”
Lady:
“How may I help you?”
Peggy:
“Listen, we had a little gluing accident just as we were
beginning to put together one of you dinosaur models, and now we need
help!”
Lady:
“Hmmm…can you describe exactly what happened?”
Luanne:
(screaming) “I’M GLUED TO AUNT PEGGY’S BACK!”
Lady: “Mmm. Mm-hmm…well, that’s too
bad. I’m sorry ladies, but we have NO adhesive antidote in stock.”
(looks at a whole shelf of antidote, complete with a sign saying
‘Apex Discovery is not responsible for any accidents involving
modeling products’)
“It should be available at your nearest
hardware store, craft shop, or your local discount store.”
Thank
you for calling Discovery Plus Hotline. Remember, you get a 10
discount on all purchases if you’re a member of the Apex Discovery
Educational Models Club. You’ll be charged $1.99 for the first minute
of this call, and 99 cents for each additional minute. Have a nice
day.”
Peggy: “But — ” (phone hangs up)
Luanne: “Now what are we gonna do?”
(One hour later, Peggy closes the phone book)
Peggy: “Well, I’ve called up all of the
craft shops, discount stores, and hardware outlets, even those in
MacManurberry. Surprisingly, there is an incredibly low stockage of
adhesive antidote this time of year in this part of Texas.”
Luanne: “Even Mega-lo Mart?”
Peggy: “Low prices, but low reliability.”
Part II: Peggy Runs Errands (I)
(Another
hour later, after cleaning up the living room, Peggy gets her purse
and her car keys)
Luanne:
“But Aunt Peggy, we can’t go outside looking like THIS! People
will think we’re freaks!”
Peggy:
“Peggy Hill will go on with her life. Besides, you are the
master of absense in this town. If you keep quiet, it will almost be
like another episode where we completely ignore you for no apparent
reason!” (Luanne looks confused) “Now come on! It’s
time to go! Andale!”
Luanne:
(remembers that she’s not wearing socks or shoes) “But
Aunt Peggy –” (yelps)
(Peggy
heads to the car thru the back door)
(Peggy drives the car
thru Arlen, with Luanne squished uncomfortably behind her.)
Part III: Science Museum
(Peggy
is marveling at a dinosaur exhibit)
Peggy:
“Would you look at that, Luanne?”
Museum
professor: “Excuse me?”
Peggy:
(yells, quickly turns around)
“Oh, hi.” (chuckles nervously)
Museum professor: “That’s a mighty
impressive beast, isn’t it?”
Peggy: “I agree. I believe this is the
stegosaurus.”
Museum professor: “Ah, so you’re into
dinosuars, too. What’s your name?”
Peggy: “Peggy Hill. And if it were up to me,
that would be called the Peg-osaurus.” (chuckling)
But
seriously, I am actually a Biology teacher at Tom Landry Middle
School. Besides, I joined the Apex Discovery Educational Models Club
since my last visit here.”
Museum Professor: “Uh-huh…”(nods
head in interest)
Peggy: “In MY opinion, dinosaurs were
created by God …”
(As Peggy continues speaking, the professor notices
something behind Peggy’s back. He sees Luanne’s head creeping over
Peggy’s shoulder)
(The professor raises an eyebrow; Luanne creeps back
down halfway, revelaing an innocent look in her eyes.)
Peggy: “…but I guess there was no stopping
the rivaling mammals from the raging apostles.” (giggles)
Museum professor: (clears throat) “Oh,
look at the time.” (leads Peggy to the exit) “Sorry
we can’t continue this engaging conversation, but thanks again for
attending the Hemlich County Science Museum.”
Peggy: “Um, okay. So we will be discussing
this later, then?”
Museum professor: “Yes…MUCH later.”
(spins his finger around his ear when Peggy turns her back; Luanne
looks dejected)
Part IV: Jack’s Barbershop (I)
(Luanne
is cutting a customer’s hair, while Peggy looks into the mirror.)
(Peggy peeks at the
back of the customer’s head. She then turns around)
Luanne:
(gasps) “Aunt Peggy! What are you doing!”
Peggy:
“I was just observing your job, and I have decided that you are
not cutting this man’s hair as well as you should be.” (grabs
Luanne’s shears)
Luanne:
“But –“
Peggy:
“Uh-uh-uh! Trust me, Luanne, I know what I’m doing.”
(Luanne
sighs resignedly as Peggy proceeds to cut the customer’s hair)
Part V: Peggy and Luanne Go to Bed
(That
night, Peggy and Luanne sleep on the couch. It was a full moon. Peggy
removed her shoes near the couch, and placed her glasses on the
coffee table. Luanne placed her hair bow on the coffee table.)
(Peggy faced outward
on the couch, while Luanne faced inward. Peggy had her pillow and
blanket all to herself, and the chilly air made Luanne cold.)
(Peggy
snoring)
Luanne:
“Aunt Peggy? Aunt Peggy?”
(Peggy
continues snoring)
Luanne:
“Aunt Peggy, could you gimme some of your blanket? It’s cold
back here.”
(Peggy
continues snoring)
(Luanne
bundles her arms together, shivering; cringes at Peggy’s loud
snoring)
(as Peggy continues
snoring, the crickets are chirping outside on that calm, summery
night)
Part VI: Peggy Runs Errands (II)
(The
next day, a Saturday, Peggy sets off to do more errands. She was
feeling a little more downbeat than the previous day)
Peggy:
“Well, I’m off to the store. Hopefully, I can have someone else
to talk to besides the wart on my back!”
Luanne:
“Aunt Peggy, can I just grab my shoes first?” (wiggles
toes) “My toes are feeling a bit insecure.”
Peggy:
“Well, YOU should have thought of that BEFORE you got us stuck
together. It’s not fun when your own mistakes come back to haunt you,
huh!”
(Peggy
walks towards the car)
(Peggy drives in her
car with Luanne squished behind her again)
Peggy:
“Luanne, please stop wiggling around! I cannot drive while you
are squirming like a worm!”
Luanne:
(muffled) “Buh Uhn Pergy, Uh Cund Breeve Buhk Herh!”
Peggy:
“Yeah, yeah. We will stop for some ice cream on our way to your
freaking job!”
(Peggy
continues driving)
Part VII: Mega-Lo Mart
(Minh
and Nancy are talking to each other from a distance)
Peggy:
“Uh-oh, it’s Nancy and Minh.” (whispers) “Just
let me do all the talking. Maybe they will not notice you.”
Minh:
(calling) “Hey, Peggy Hillbilly! Over here!” (Nancy
turns around)
(Peggy
walks over)
Nancy:
“Hey, Sug.”
Peggy:
(calm) “Hello, Nancy, hello Minh. It’s nice to see you
girls.”
Nancy:
“Indeed.” (swipes hair) “So what’s up, Sug?”
Peggy:
“Well, I’ve officially started my vacation this weekend. I got a
whole summer ahead to prepare for entrance into the Biology
profession next year.”
Minh:
“Ah, Biology! One of Connie’s best subjects.”
Peggy:
“Yes, your daughter is one of our best students.
But
enough about me, let’s talk about you!”
Nancy:
(looks into her pocket mirror) “Well, sug, things couldn’t
be better at Channel 84. Right now, we’re preparing for the annual
Taste of Arlen next weekend. I’m going to have a booth next to
Sugarfoot’s!” (Nancy giggles excitedly; puts away mirror)
“This is Nancy Hicks Gribble. Back to you, Peg!”
Peggy:
“Oh, well, um…(chuckles nervously) How about you,
Minh?”
Minh: “Oh, same as usual. My Kahn got a
payraise at work the other day!
I also work more on my garden. There’s a special type of
Laotian flower that I’m cultivating for upcoming contest at Arlen
Botanical Gardens.”
Peggy: “Mm-hmm…”
Minh: “By the way, Peggy, are we still on
for Boggle game at your house tomorrow?”
Peggy: (nervously) “Uh, sure…you
better watch out. Peggy Hill, Professional Boggle Champ, will give
you no less than 113!” (clutches fist half-heartedly)
“Ho yeah!”
(Minh and Nancy shifts their eyes toward each other
smugly)
Peggy: (still nervous) “Well girls, I
must be going. (walks past them, quickly turning around) I
just need to see if they have my kind of deodorant; Discreet
Unscented.”
Nancy: “Later, Sug!”
Minh: “Chao!”
(walks over to the other side of the shelf, and
begins counting cosmestic kits instead of deodorant)
(a passer-by notices Luanne suspended on Peggy’s
back)
(Minh and Nancy look on)
Minh: “Poor Peggy Hillbilly. She so
distracted, she don’t know she got blond girl stuck on her back.”
Nancy: “Kinda makes you feel sorry for them,
don’t it, Sug?”
Minh:
“Peggy such a pompous windbag. I feel more sorry for blond
girl.”
Nancy:
“Same here, Sug.”
(both
giggle to themselves)
Part VIII: Jack’s Barbershop (II)
(Later
that afternoon, Peggy and Luanne approach the front entrance of
Jack’s Barbershop)
Peggy:
“That was the best lunch I’ve had in a while.”
Luanne:
“But I wanted ketchup on my fries. And I wanted fruit salad, not
fries!”
Peggy:
“And I wanted relish on my hot dog, but you do not see ME
complaining about it, huh?”
(Connie
happens along on her bicycle)
Connie:
“Hey, Luanne. What up?”
Luanne:
“Well, not much…”
Connie:
(notices Luanne’s problem) “Yikes! What happened to you?”
Luanne:
(twiddling her fingers) “We had a little accident
yesterday.”
Connie:
“Gee, that sucks.”
“So,
um…are we still on for this weekend?”
Luanne:
“I don’t know, Connie. I’m in kind of a pickle here.”
Peggy:
(yelling) “Luanne! Talk time with your friend is over!”
Connie:
“Well, I better be going. Have fun at work, and good luck…”
(whispering)
“You’ll need it.”
(Connie
rides off, as Peggy and Luanne enter the barbershop)
(Luanne
is cutting a customer’s hair)
(Peggy
looks thru the mirror. She turns around; Luanne drobs comb)
Peggy:
“Once again, you fail to cut hair professionally. That’s where I
come in.” (grabs Luanne’s shears, and begins cutting hair)
(Luanne
growls, then turns back. Peggy drops shears)
Luanne:
“Back off, Aunt Peggy! This is MY job!”
Peggy:
(gasps) “How dare you! Nobody speaks to Peggy Hill in
that manner and gets away with it!” (turns back, continues
cutting)
Luanne:
(turns back) “I can cut hair! I’m NOT stupid!”
Peggy:
(turns back) “Escuche mi, young lady, but I have
been cutting hair longer than you have!”
Luanne:
“You’ve only cut Bobby’s hair all these years! I’ve cut millions
of people’s hair!” (turns back)
Peggy:
(turns back) “Well it’s never too late to do something
right.” (Luanne growls)
(Peggy
and Luanne struggling)
Peggy:(struggling) “If you would just let me show you…”
Luanne:
(straining) “I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!”
(big
chunks of hair fall to the ground during the fight; the customer
frets)
(Luanne turns back to
the front and clings tightly to the chair. Peggy struggles, then
gives up. Both of their hair were ruined during the scuffle)
Luanne:
Okay, sir. You’re all done. (hands him the mirror)
(Customer screams; his
hair is completely botched)
Customer:
(crying) “What have you done to my beautiful hair! IT’S
RUINED!”
Peggy:
“I told her she should have done it MY way.”
Customer:
(points to Luanne) “YOU are going to pay for this! For
that, NO TIP!”
(customer
walking out the barbershop wailing)
(Jack standing by the
exit with arms crossed)
Jack:
(walks over to Luanne) “Luanne, we need to talk…”
“Listen,
you’re a great hairstylist, in fact, the best I’ve ever had…
Which
is why I want YOU…” (points at
Luanne),
“…not
THAT.” (points at Peggy in the
mirror)
Peggy: “What the hell are YOU staring at!”
Jack: “I gave you a shot yesterday, but
until you get your…family matters under control, you’re suspended.”
(walks off)
(Luanne and Peggy
glare at each other, then ignore each other)
(end of Act II)