King Of The Hill Porn Story: Tying Knots Chapter 1

King of the
hill Tying Knots

Authors
note: Okay, so I used to watch King of the Hill a bit when I was
little, but I just now started watching the reruns every night about
a month or so ago. So if things arent accurate, its because I
havent been watching it since show 1, okay? But Im pretty sure
its pretty accurate, because when I get into a show, I really get
into it. ;)

Dale tries to
make cigarettes taste like oreo cookies; Bobby finds that the cool
crowd isnt as cool as they think they are

Chapter 1:

The four men
were standing outside Hanks house in front of the fence, as they
did every afternoon after work.

Yep,
Hank said.

Yep,
Bill added.

Yep,
Dale commented.

Mm-hmm,
Boomhouer said, standing out as usual.

Hank decided
to start the conversation with what happened at his work. Well,
guys, today at Strickland Propane, we but he was shortly
interrupted by Dale, angering Hank a bit.

What if I
somehow made cigarettes taste like oreos? he wondered
thoughtfully.

Everyone was
silent for a moment and then his friends burst out laughing.

What? Im
serious, guys!

How could
you even think of an idea so dumb? Hank asked.

I used my
brains.

What
brains, man? Boomhouer commented.

Hey,
Bill said. I think its a good idea. If he could make this
happen, I might take up smoking.

See,
Hank? Dale said. It would get non-smokers to start smoking!

Thats
not a good thing, Dale.

Yes it
is! More ka-ching for me!

Well, I
can assure you, I would never ever smoke, no matter what the
cigarette tasted like. Smoking is bad.

So is
drinking, but I see youve got a beer in your hand right now, so
there, he huffed with a cross of his arms.

Thats
different. Smoking can kill.

Whatever,
Hank. You go your way, Ill go mine. You make the small bucks, Ill
make the big bucks. You sell the gas, and Ill kick some ass!

Hank sighed,
knowing that there was nothing he could say to get Dale to change his
mind. Once he got an idea, no matter how stupid, he was going to
follow through with it. And Hank would be there for him when his plan
failed, as usual.

When Hank
walked in his house after their little chat, he said, Guess what
crazy scheme Dales thought of now?

What?
Peggy asked, as she set the table.

He thinks
hes going to try to make cigarettes taste like oreo cookies.

Uhthats
really strange.

Ill
sayHey Bobby, he said to his son as he walked in the kitchen.

Yeah,
Dad?

You would
never smoke a cigarette would you, even if it tasted like oreos?

OREOS?
his eyes got wide. A cigarette that tastes like oreos? Is there
such a thing? Ive got to tell the guys

Hank did a
double take. What? God dang it, Bobby. What are you talking
about?

Ah, I was
just kidding, Dad

But Hank
didnt look so sure of his son. Well, just promise me you would
never smoke.

Of course
I wouldnt, Dad

***

That night,
Dale was in the basement, working very hard on his new plan. Well,
trying to anyway. He had a pack of oreos and a pack of cigarettes
down with him, setting on the desk.

Nancy just
finished making dinner and realized that once again, her husband was
nowhere in sight. He had come home that evening, so he wasnt at
work. He must be in the basement again. She walked down the steps and
found her husband leaning over a pack of oreo cookies.

Sug, what
are you doing?

Getting
on my way to becoming rich and famous.

Not
again, she sighed. Well, dinners ready when you are.

Well Im
not hungry. Ive been eating these oreos.

Nancy gave
him a strange look, but shrugged and started to walk back upstairs, a
little sadly. Her and Dale never really so much as crossed paths
anymore. Itd been like that for quite some time now. And her love
for John Redcorn that was still lingering inside her forbiddingly
didnt help much either.

Wait
Nancy, Dale said.

Her heart
pumped fast for a moment. Yes, sug? she turned around, a little
hopefully.

Can you
bring me another pack of oreos?

Her heart
sank and her face fell. Alright.

She came
back down quickly empty handed, though. Im sorry, sug. Theres
no more oreos. Why dont you just come upstairs and forget about
all this for right now?

Never.
Im going to the grocery store to get some more.

Nancy sighed
and looked down. Well, whatever you want. She went back
upstairs and he went to the store. As she sat at the dinner table,
she couldnt seem to eat much dinner. She just sat picking at her
food and finally just threw her fork down. She couldnt take it
anymore. She always felt like Dale and her should be something more
than they were, probably so she could get over John Redcorn. But the
fact he was either at work, with the guys, or in the basement all the
time, didnt help any at all. She was forced to let her thoughts
drift to John Redcorn. His tan, sexy bodythe way he spoke, the way
he moved, the way he touched her

Nancy shook
her head, as if to clear it. She was married to Dale now. She had to
stop thinking about John. She loved Dale, or she wouldnt have
married him, right? Then why did thoughts of John Redcorn keep
creeping upon her? Was it because she and Dale didnt spend enough
time together? Because she was a woman and needed to be loved, and
there was never much love coming from Dale. But she knew in the back
of her mind that Johns love would always be waiting for her. It
was so tempting.

Nancy
glanced out the window to see Boomhouer over at the Hills with his
shirt off. She couldnt help but stare with almost a longing lust.
She shook her head again. She seriously needed to do something about
her and Dales relationship. She needed someone to love her before
she went over the edge. She stood up, walked over to her window, and
closed the blinds. She put dinner up and then she found some candles
and took them up to her and Dales bedroom. She placed them around
the room and lit them, and then flicked the lights out. Nancy then
went to the basement, shut the door, and locked it. He wasnt going
back in there tonight.

She then sat
on the bed and waited.

Very
shortly, Dale came back home and went straight to the basement with
his pack of oreos. But when he tried to wiggle the door handle, it
wouldnt budge. What the hell? he wondered aloud. He kept
jiggling and pulling like a moron, trying to get the door open.
NANCY! he yelled. Whys the basement door locked?! When
Nancy didnt provide him with an answer, however, he went to go
find her. Nancy! he called. Where are you?

In the
bedroom, sug! she called back.

Dale then
proceeded to the bedroom to find Nancy in a nice short silky
nightgown, lying on the bed.

Nancy?
he said.

Yes,
sug?

Whys
the basement locked? I need in there.

Nancy rolled
her eyes. What do you want more? To get into the basementor to
get into me? she raised her eyebrows up and down with a
seductive smile on her face.

Umthe
basement.

Nancys
face fell. Oh, I see she looked away, blinking back tears.
She had really thought this through, tooShe had it all planned out
and of course he would ruin it

Somethings
wrong, Dale noted aloud. When Nancy didnt say anything, he
said, Nancy, whats going on? Whats all the candles for?

Its
nothing she said, still not looking at Dale.

Nancy. I
know somethings up. Please just tell me what it is. You can tell
me he gently turned her to face him to see that her face was
red, splotchy, and tear stained. Youre cryingPlease dont
cry, he touched her arm briefly, sending chills up her spine.
Tell me whats on your mind.

She wanted
to tell him everything inside her head, but instead it came out like
this. Sug, we really haventI mean, we need toOur
relationship is Then she came to get herself to spurt out, I
want to have a baby, sug. Maybe having a baby with Dale would make
it all better. Make them closer.

A baby,
Nancy?

Yes, sug.
A baby. Josephs going to be grown before we know it. I want to
have a little one.

Well,
uhWe have Joseph. Isnt that enough?

Its
not the same, sug

Yes it
is. What are you talking about?

You dont
understand

No, I
dont understand. I dont understand you at all. I want
to understand you, though, sweetheart.

Nancy looked
up surprisingly at Dale. You called me sweetheart.

Well, I
love you.

You do?

Well, of
course I do, Nancy. And I want to understand you better.

I want to
understand you too, Dale. Her saying Dales name even surprised
her a bit.

***

The next
afternoon, Bobby came home from hanging with his friends.

Hi,
Bobby, Peggy said as he walked in the door. I just made
cookies. Would you like one? she asked, gesturing toward the
cookie jar on the counter full of fresh chocolate chip cookies.

Sure,
Mom. Thanks. He walked over and helped himself to a cookie.

Peggy
noticed a foul, but familiar smell. She bent over closer to Bobby and
sniffed. Bobby Hill, you smell like smoke. How dare you! You just
got through telling your father that you would never smoke.

But I
wasnt smoking

Then why
do you smell like smoke then, huh?

Joseph
and the guys were.

And
youre telling me that you didnt. Bobby, youre hanging out
with the wrong kind of friends. Whatever happened to Connie?

I dumped
her because she wasnt cool.

Wasnt
cool? She was the coolest girl Ive seen you with yet!

Shes
the only girl youve seen me with yet, Bobby muttered.

Thats
not the point, Bobby. She was a very nice, studious girl and was
perfect for you. How dare you dump her because she wasnt cool
enough for you. What is cool to you kids now days? A cigarette
hanging out of their mouth? That is just not attractive, Bobby.

I know
she was nice and all, Mom, but

But
what?

I dont
know… he sighed.

Go to
your room, Bobby. When your father comes home, Im sure hes
going to want to talk to you.

Okay
he slumped off to his room.

And give
me that cookie, she demanded.

Bobby turned
around just long enough for Peggy to snatch what was left of his
cookie out of his hand.

Later that
evening, there was a knock at Bobbys bedroom door.

Come in,
Bobby called, knowing it was most likely his father.

Hank let
himself in and sat on the bed beside Bobby. Bobby, your mother
tells me that you came home smelling like smoke today.

Yeah,
because Joseph and the guys were smoking. I wasnt smoking, I
swear! he exclaimed defensively.

I believe
you, Bobby, because I trust you. But I think youre hanging out
with the wrong crowd.

No Im
not. They just smoke. Other than that, theyre great friends!

Great
friends pressuring you to be cool?

What do
you mean, Dad?

I mean,
that those friends youre hanging out with are not as cool as they
think they are. Smoking does not make you cool. And hanging out with
a crowd like that doesnt make you cool either. And it doesnt
give you the right to label your girlfriend as uncool and dump
her because of it.

I know,
Dad, but

But
nothing. You have invited Connie over for dinner tonight.

I have?
Bobby asked, confused.

Yes, you
have. The doorbell rang at that time. There she is now. Go
answer the door, Bobby.

Bobby sighed
and went downstairs slowly.

He answered
the door to see Connie standing there. Hi, Connie.

Hi
Bobby, she smiled shyly.

Come on
in. He stepped back to let his ex girlfriend in. This is so
awkward, he thought to himself.

It was so
nice of you to invite me to dinner, Bobby, she said as they walked
to the kitchen. It was such a surprise.
Yeah. It was
a surprise, Bobby muttered.

All through
dinner, it was pretty silent until Hank broke the silence with,
Sowhat have you been up to, Connie?

Studying,
she shrugged.

But its
summer! Bobby protested.

Im
taking summer school.

Why?
Youre smart!

Im
taking advanced courses to get some of my college out of the way.

Wow!
Peggy exclaimed. You sure are on top of things, Connie.

Thank
you, Mrs. Hill, she smiled.

After theyd
all got finished eating, Peggy said, Bobby, why dont you take
Connie up to your room? I imagine you both have some catching up to
do.

Bobby looked
at his mother with a sarcastic thanks look. Okay he
sighed. Come on, Connie. She followed him up to his room. As
soon as they walked inside, though, they heard Peggy yell, Do not
shut your bedroom door, Bobby!

Okay,
Mom! he called back down, irritated. The two kids then sat down on
Bobbys bed. So Bobby said slowly. This is officially
awkward

Connie
didnt seem to think so. She burst out, Why did you break up
with me?

This took
Bobby aback. UmWell, you see, Connieyou just arent cool.

Im not
cool?! Well, if your definition of cool is smoking cigarettes and
hanging out with obnoxious hooligans, then I guess Im not
cool!

Well
Bobby said slowly, looking away.

Bobby
Hill! You look at me right now! Bobby turned to face her with an
embarrassed look on his face. You know very well that the only
reason youre saying these things are because of your friends. And
if your friends are telling you such nonsense, then I would say they
arent your friends!

Oh,
Connie. Of course they are. And I just dont think that youre
the right girl for me. Im cool, youre not. Enough said.

Oooh!
she started boiling with anger. Bobby Hill! You are the most
lackadaisical person Ive ever met! She hopped off the bed
angrily and started to leave the room.

What does
that mean? Bobby scratched his head.

Connie
whipped around and spat, It means you dont care! Because
obviously you dont she said sadly, turned, and left.

Oh,
dear Bobby sighed.

***

Nancy and
Dale had talked for hours the previous night, and were talking again
that night as well. Theyd started to understand each other a bit.

Wow
Dale said. Our relationship really does suck.

Oh, its
okay, sug. We can fix it.

Dale sighed
and with a bit of hesitation, put his arm around her. She smiled at
him and snuggled closer.

After a
moment, Nancy said quietly, Now what about that baby?

Nancy
Dale sighed. We dont have the time or the money

Time? We
have all the time in the world, sug. And moneywell, we could make
do with what weve got. We can make it work.

Nancy, I
like sex as much as the next guy, but I dont think Im ready for
a baby right now.

Come on,
Dale, she put on a puppy dog face. You know you want me
she smiled that seductive smile again.

Well
he pondered aloud. She did look rather nice and he liked it
when she said his actual name instead of the usual sug. Are
you still on the pill?

Uhof
course, she lied through her teeth, looking away. Shed gotten
off the pill years ago.

Well
okay, then my darling, get ready for the ride of your life!

Oh, I
love it when you use terms of endearment, Dale!

And I
love it when you say my name, Nancy!

***

The next
morning, Nancy went over to the Hills house to visit Peggy. Peggy
noticed Nancy was in a very good mood and said, Nancy, what are
you so happy about?

Oh,
youll never believe it, Peggy!

Try me,
she set the rag she was drying a dish with down on the counter, along
with the dish.

Dale made
love to me last night! she squealed like a little school girl.

Peggys
jaw dropped and then she muttered, You lucky bastard.

Arent
you happy for me, Peggy? Dale and I have been growing more and more
apart for years

When were
you ever close? she kind of chuckled and then she saw the look on
Nancys face and said, Of course Im happy for you, Nancy. Im
sure its very exciting for you.

And we
actually talked, Peggy. I mean actually talked. We
havent done that inwell, I dont think we ever have
done that.

Im
happy for you, Nancy. This is really good for your relationship with
Dale.

I know!
Maybe it wont fall apart after all!

Until
John Redcorn shows up, that is.

Why would
he show up?

Why dont
you ask him? Peggy pointed at the window. Nancys eyes
followed to where she was pointing and saw John Redcorn standing on
the Gribbles front step.

Oh dear,
Nancy sighed.

Do you
want me to go punch him for you? Because I will. Ive punched Randy
Travis before, so I would have no problem punching John Redcorn.

No, that
wont be necessary, Peggy Nancy started to walk out the
Hills door to head over to her house.

I hope
you do the right thing, Nancy, Peggy told her just before Nancy
was out the door.

(after theme
plays, Dale shouts You sell the gas, Ill kick some ass!
again)