King Of The Hill Porn Story: Bowling Green Chapter 1
King of the Hill
Bowling
Green
written by: Mr. Semaj
Act
I
Scene I – Late for
School
It is Friday morning.
All is quiet in the neighborhood, until, someone is seen scrambling
out the back door.
Bobby is putting on
his backpack and nibbling on a plain piece of toast as he prepares
for school. He runs to grab his bicycle.
Joseph is also
scrambling out the front door. He goes to grab his bicycle, and takes
off with Bobby.
Bobby: “My
God! I can’t believe we overslept! I just hope we make it for first
period.”
Joseph: “Dude,
you just said, ‘period…'”
Bobby: “Now’s
really not the time, Joseph!”
The boys rush off to
Arlen High School. They park their bikes on a bike rack, and rush up
the front stairs, through the front doors, and off to their
classroom. Bobby looks at his watch, and the time is 8:01AM.
As the boys zip
through the hallway, they pass a nearby bulletin board. One flyer is
a message from the Student Activities Chairperson, encouraging
students to create new activities for the yearbook.
In a classroom, the
teacher, Mrs. Lockwood is taking attendance.
Mrs. Lockwood:
“Lee?”
Lee: “Here.”
Mrs. Lockwood:
“Mary?”
Mary: “Present.”
Mrs. Lockwood:
“Floyd?”
Floyd:
“Christmas.”
The class giggles. The
teacher gives a stern look, and continues with attendance. Bobby and
Joseph burst through the front door, and tumble onto the floor.
Mrs. Lockwood:
“Bobby Hill and Joseph Gribble…” (marks card)
“Late again.”
Bobby: “But
we’re still on time for first period, Mrs. Lockwood.”
Mrs. Lockwood:
(checks watch) “Not on my watch. Both of you report for
detention after school.”
Joseph: “Not
again!”
Bobby: “Aw,
poo.”
The class giggles
again, as the boys take their seats.
Connie nods her head
disapprovingly.
Samantha:
(whispering) “Those guys are totally immature.”
Connie: “All
boys are immature.”
Scene II – Weekend
Weariness
An hour after the end
of the school day, Bobby and Joseph leave detention. They head home.
As they ride home,
Bobby notices some unusual squeaking in Joseph’s bicycle.
Bobby: “Joseph,
maybe you should get that front tire checked.”
Joseph: “Nah,
it’s always like that. It’ll be fine.”
At the Hills’
residence, Peggy is watering the ferns on Bobby’s trophy case. Bobby
opens the front door.
Peggy: “It’s
Friday!”
Bobby: “Thank
God.”
Peggy: “And
what do you plan on doing this weekend, son?”
Bobby: “I
dunno. Probably nothing I haven’t already done before.” (trots
off to his room)
Peggy: (to
herself) “Mmm…” (continues watering plants)
Scene III – Trouble
at Work
Meanwhile, at
Strickland Propane, Buck Strickland calls all of the employees to a
meeting.
Strickland:
“People, simmer down. We have a crisis on our hands…”
Enrique: “We
ran outta paper clips again! Por que!“
Strickland: “Um,
no…Thatherton created his own bastard bowling team, and he’s put up
to the challenge. Now, any of y’all got any clever names for our own
team?”
Donna: “But
we don’t have a bowling team.”
Strickland:
“That’s why we gotta come up with a clever name!”
“God, I’m talking in
circles!”
Enrique:
“Hmm…How about the Arlen qtomos?”
Strickland: “No.”
Joe Jack: “The
Arlen Aggressors?”
Strickland:
“Nuh-uh.”
Donna: “The
Arlen Acoustics?”
Strickland: “No!
People will confuse us with the Arlen Symphony Orchestra!”
Hank thinks for a
moment, then has an idea.
Hank: “I got
it! How about the Arlen Aeronauts?”
Strickland:
“That’s it, Hank!”
“Picture this,
people; a nice, big blimp, advertising some cold, frosty Alamo during
halftime at a Cowboys game.”
The crowd murmurs
approvingly.
Strickland: “Then
it’s settled! When we work together as a family, we will take down
those sum-a bitches, and we will take the sport of bowling to
infinity, and beyond!”
Everybody cheers and
applauds.
Scene IV – Saturday
Bowling
The next afternoon,
Hank is sitting on the couch changing the channels. Bobby walks into
the living room appearing quite bored.
Hank: “Rough
week, son?”
Bobby: “Yeah,
Dad.”
Hank: “Well,
you know what I always say about bad days…”
Hank & Bobby:
“Be thankful that God allows another day.”
Hank: “Come
on, Bobby. There’s better things to do on a Saturday than loafing
around the house. Let’s watch some sports.”
Bobby: “Well,
I was gonna watch Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, but
okay.”
Hank presses the
remote, and changes the channel to the sports network. The bowling
program is on.
Announcer #1:
“…and Mr. Vitti is up for the fifth frame.” (pause)
“Just look at that concentration.”
Announcer #2: “A
force to be reckoned with.”
Mr. Vitti walks up,
and throws the ball down the lane as the audience begins cheering.
It curves slightly,
and knocks down eight of the ten pins. Audience then aw’s at the 7-10
split.
Announcer #1:
“Ooh, the death toll for bowlers worldwide–the seven-ten
split!”
Mr. Vitti waits for
his ball to return. When his ball returns, he walks up to the
platform.
Announcer #2:
(whispers) “It will take absolute silence to get this
one.”
Mr. Vitti throws the
ball towards the right, just edging the gutter. It bumps the right
pin, which deflects into the left pin. He picks up a spare, as the
audience roars!
Bobby: “Geez,
You’d think this was golf or something.”
Hank: “That’s
what makes sports so much fun, Bobby.”
“Bowling is on the
caliber of football, baseball, and golf. You can truly feel
that rush at the most suspenseful turns.”
Bobby: (touches
his belly) “Yeah…and it feels…GREAT!”
Announcer #1:
“Next up is Mr. Collier. He’s already up by four pins.”
Mr. Collier walks up
to the platform. He pauses in stance, walks up, and throws the ball
down the lane.
The ball curves
slightly, and knocks down all ten pins! The audience cheers on.
Hank: “Alright!”
Now there’s a couple of professionals.
Bobby: “I
never thought bowling could be so exhilarating.”
Hank: (looks at
Bobby) “I never thought you’d know the definition of
‘exhilarating’.”
Bobby: “Until
today. Dad, I know what I want to do today.”
Hank: “Get
ready now. We’ll be leaving as soon as this game is over.”
The next bowler goes
up, throws ball, and picks up a spare. The audience cheers and
applauds.
Scene V – Crush
In the mid-afternoon
hours, Connie and Luanne are walking Doggie and Ladybird. They have a
casual conversation.
Connie: “So
the stratocumulus clouds are the ones that produce light
precipitation. The nimbostrati are the ones that produce moderate
precipitation, which can be rain, sleet, or snow. They’re just the
lower-level clouds, but they’re quite easy to distinguish.”
Luanne: “Okay,
but, which kind of clouds are the ones that help Lucky with his Lucky
Charms?”
Just then, Joseph
zooms by on his bicycle. The girls don’t notice that he’s attempting
a stunt, until, they hear a bump, and then a crash.
The girls turn around,
and see a banged up bicycle, with Joseph struggling with a strained
leg. Connie hands Luanne Doggie’s leash as she goes over to help him.
Connie: “Joseph!
Joseph? Are you okay?”
Joseph:
(straining) “I think so. My knee hurts.”
Connie: “I
warned you about doing that back-wheel stunt. Where does it hurt?”
Joseph: “Here.”
(points at a bump)
Connie: “Well,
there’s no scabs, or bleeding. You should be alright.”
Joseph: “Thanks,
Connie.”
Joseph looks up at
Connie. Connie looks into Joseph’s eyes, and suddenly sees a helpless
glare in his eyes.
Luanne: (calling)
“Do you guys need help over there?”
Connie: (calls
back) “We’re okay, Luanne.”
(to Joseph) “Well,
bye, Joseph.”
Joseph: “See
ya, dude.” (he gets up, and carries his damaged bike home on
a limp leg)
As Luanne and Connie
continue walking their dogs, Connie looks back at Joseph…she
blushes.
Scene VI – Bowling
Alley
At the bowling alley,
Hank and Bobby are tying their bowling shoes.
Bobby: “I
just realized that we don’t go bowling very often.”
Hank: “Well,
there’s lots of things we never get to do. But today, that’s gonna
change.”
Hank unzips his
bowling bag, and pulls out an old ball. He blows the dust off.
Hank: “See,
Bobby. This is my bowling ball. I’ve had this thing since my
championship title of 1983. Someday, son, you will get your own
bowling ball.”
Bobby: “What
color would you recommend?”
Hank: “Anything
you want.”
Bobby: “How
about yellow?”
Hank: “Naw.”
Bobby: “You’re
right, too weird. I know! I’ll get a purple…I mean, mauve ball!”
Hank: “That’s
a start.”
The two prepare for
their first frame.
Hank: “Okay,
what you wanna do is get in the right position.” (grabs ball)
Bobby: “Okay.”
Hank: “You
gotta position yourself against the pins according to the directory
arrows.” (focuses ball on central arrow)
“Once you got the
right aim, you throw it straight…” (takes a step forward)
“..at…” (takes another step) “…that…”
(another step) “…arrow!” (throws ball)
The ball rolls
straight down the lane, and hits the front pin, resulting in a
strike.
Hank: “Your
turn.”
Bobby picks up his
ball, but instead of putting his fingers in the holes, proceeds to
toss the ball down the lane with his full hands. The ball flies in
the air, and thuds midway. It makes a sharp curve left, just barely
knocking down the back pin.
Hank: (sighs)
“Weren’t you paying attention, Bobby?”
Bobby: “It’s
not as easy as you make it look, Dad.”
Hank: “Here,
go try again. This time, I’ll go over it step by step.”
Bobby gets his ball
once it returns.
Hank: “Put
your fingers into the holes.” (Bobby puts his fingers into
the holes)
(points) “Up
to the platform,” (Bobby goes up)
“Put the ball into
position.” (Bobby raises ball)
“Aim it.”
(Bobby tries to aim ball at center arrow)
“Now, take three
steps forward.”
“One.” (Bobby
takes a step forward)
“Two.”
(Another step)
“Three.” (Final
step)
Bobby throws ball. The
ball makes a slight curve. It knocks down eight pins.
Hank: (nods
approvingly) “Good start.”
Scene VII – Until
Next Time
Later that day, there
is a knock at the Gribbles’ front door. Nancy answers.
Nancy: “Oh,
hello.”
Luanne: “I
came over to fix Joseph’s bike, Mrs. Gribble.”
Nancy: “It’s
right in the garage, Sug.”
Luanne walks over to
the garage with her toolbox, where the door is open. She sees the
bike, and begins to inspect the damages. Luanne spins the crooked
front wheel, then takes out a wrench, and starts working on the
bolts.
Just then, Connie
comes over.
Connie: “Luanne.”
Luanne: “Connie.
What are you doing here?”
Connie: “Uh,
I just came by to watch you fix Joseph’s bike…” (starts
twiddling with her hair) “And…uh…perhaps see if Joseph
is home.”
Luanne: “He’s
not home right now. Why?”
Connie: (nervous)
“Well, I was kinda wondering if he and I could watch some
television together.” (giggles as she begins blushing)
Luanne: “Wait,
I know that look…you have a crush on Joseph, don’t ya?”
Connie: (meekly)
“Yes.”
(starts twiddling her
fingers) “So…what do you think of Joseph?”
Luanne:
“Hmm…he’s okay. I always thought he had a crush on me, not
that I hated him or anything, he just wasn’t my type.”
Connie: (walks
over to Luanne) “Well, funny thing about that, because…”
(whispers in Luanne’s ear)
Luanne: “And
all this time, I thought Bobby was ogling me.”
Connie: “Yeah,
talk about perverted.”
Brief silence.
Connie: “So…see
ya when I see ya.”
Luanne: “Okay.
Buh-bye.” (Connie takes off)
Luanne resumes
inspecting the bicycle, as she and Connie informally go their
separate ways in the foreseeable future.
Scene VIII – Ready
to Bowl
Bobby aims the bowling
ball.
He throws. The ball
curves slightly, and he picks up a 4-9-10 split.
The machine records
the final scores: Hank – 155, Bobby – 98.
Hank and Bobby prepare
to go home at closing time.
Hank: “Good
job, Bobby. In no time, you’ll be a pro-bowling athlete!”
Bobby: “Yeah.
Bowling is not as hard as they’ll have you believe!”
Hank: “Like
most things, it’s not hard at all once you apply yourself.”
“Here’s an idea; you
can have your own bowling team! It’ll give you something to do every
weekend.”
Bobby: “Yeah!
In fact, they’ve been pushing for a new activity at high school
lately.”
Hank: “Well,
there ya go. Of course, you’ll have to come up with a clever team
name.”
Bobby looks out the
window at a nearby billboard. “Call your local travel agent to
experience a thrill in Civil Aviation.”
Bobby: “How
about…the Arlen Aviators?”
Hank nods
affirmatively.
Bobby: “This
is awesome! We each got ourselves a bowling team!”
Hank & Bobby:
“Woo!”
Hank continues driving
his truck into the sunset.
(end of Act I)