King Of The Hill Porno Story: Witness Out for Peggy Chapter 1

King
of the Hill

A
Connie & Luanne Episode

Watch
Out for Peggy!

Written by
Mr. Semaj

Act
I

Scene I
Car Accident

Hank
and Peggy are driving in the car.

Hank:
So I hear youre being promoted at the Arlen Bystander this
week?

Peggy:
Yep, Hank. I personally wrote the article you may have read in the
newspaper. But I forged one of the rookies names so I wont seem
so conceited.

Hank
laughs nervously.

Peggy:
You know, the Arlen Bystander is lucky to have someone like me. I
believe that most of the crime and unemployment rates are caused by
not enough people reading the newspaper. But I got an aggressive
advertising campaign ahead

Peggy
continues lecturing Hank, while neglecting to pay attention to the
road.

Peggy:
by the end of this year, Arlen Bystander will be driven right
into the ground. Ho yeah!

Hank:
Peggy, youve had some wild idea before, but I dont see how
that could possibly work.

Peggy:
Oh Hank, you are never ever going to get anywhere with such a
myopic demea

Hank:
LOOK OUT!! BWAAAAAHH!!!

The
car stops suddenly, but hits a utility pole. The impact results in
glass being shattered everywhere.

Scene
II Melancholy at the Park

At
the park, it is a bright sunny afternoon. Connie & Luanne are
swinging together on the swing sets.

Joseph
walks by sadly. The girls stop swinging.

Connie:
Joseph! Whats wrong, Joseph?

Joseph:
Nothing.

Luanne:
Do you want to talk about it?

Joseph
walks over and sits on the empty swing between Luanne and Connie.

Joseph:
Do you ever think that something is not right in your life?

Luanne:
What do you mean?

Joseph:
I dont know why, but it seems Mr. Redcorn wants to spend a lot
of time with me. Hes not my real dad.

Connie
& Luanne look at each other nervously.

Connie
(nervously): Um, noof course not.

Joseph:
And Mom has been pressuring me to spend more time with Dad. I love
my dad, butdo you think that he might be a bit of a screwball?

Silence.

Luanne
tries to hold back her laughing.

Connie:
Hey Joseph, sweetie, were gonna go climb the oak tree for a
bit. Wanna come?

Joseph
(sighs): Sure. I could use the work out.

Connie
and Luanne run over to the tree. Joseph walks nonchalantly.

Scene
III Doctors Diagnosis

Meanwhile,
Hank and Peggy are escorted by an ambulance to the Arlen Medical
Center.

Doctor:
Well, there were no injuries in the crash, thank God. But aside
from the $3,000 in car damage, both of your glasses were destroyed.

A
married couple with glasses. Its like you two are peas in a podin
that aspect.

Peggy
(facing a potted palm): What is your recommendation,
Doc?

Doctor:
My recommendation is for the two of you get new glasses as soon as
possible, and think of how youre going to cover the costs from
that accident.

Peggy:
Dont worry; Im sure my husband didnt mean to distract me.
Hell pay for everything.

Hank
makes an angry groan.

Scene
IV Afterschool Quality Time

At
the end of the next school day, the students leave Arlen High. Joseph
sees dale waiting at the front stoop.

Dale:
Hey Joseph. What are you doing tonight?

Joseph:
My homework. We got a kick-ass astronomy test this week.

Dale:
Wrong! Youre going out with me for some ice cream.

And
guess whos coming with?

Joseph:
Lemme guessJohn Redcorn?

Dale:
Wrong! Its

Wait,
youre right. John Redcorn!

Joseph
(unenthusiastically to himself): Yipee..

Scene V
New Prescription

At
the optometrist, Hank and Peggy talk to their eye doctor about new
prescriptions.

Optometrist:
You two were among the lucky ones. Do you two know how many
injuries each year are caused by broken glasses?

Hank:
Are you going to give us a stronger pair of glasses? Maybe
stronger frames or lenses?

Optometrist:
Well Mr. Hill, Id personally hate to see such a fine gentleman
as yourself risk another eye injury. I suggest you try contact
lenses.

Hank
& Peggy: Contact lenses?

Optometrist:
Echo, echo, echo

Look,
you just clean them before you place them on your eyeballs, and clean
them once every six hours. Its quite simple.

Hank:
Uh, no offense, but I think Id be better off risking broken
glasses than have my eyes itchy all day.

Optometrist:
Well, suit yourself, but its not like you can afford laser eye
surgery at this point.

Hank:
Dont think that I want to.

While
Hank has his back turned, Peggy removes the contact lenses pamphlet
from the waste basket. She makes a devious look on her face

One
week later, Hank and Peggy go to pick up their new prescriptions.

Optometrist:
Okay Mr. and Mrs. Hill, here are your new contacts. (He
hands them their prescriptions.)

Hank:
Contacts? But I specifically stated that Im not interested!

Optometrist:
Well Mr. Hill, I have here the documents showing that you and your
wife agreed to purchase two pairs of contacts. And it has your
signaturein your handwriting.

Hank:
What?! How is that even possible?

Peggy
(in her mind): Thank you, Microsoft Word.

Optometrist:
Well, its too late to do anything at this point. They were
already half paid with your credit card too.

Hank:
Peggy, did you–

Peggy:
Of course not, Hank. Im insulted you would even think it.
Besides, you tend to forget at least one thing when youre dealing
with so many things at the same time.

Hank:
But–

Optometrist:
Look, its no big deal. Just try them out for ten days, and if
you dont like them, we will cancel any future subscriptions, and
switch straight back to your frames. Of course, I still think laser
surgery would be a good option for you two.

Hank:
No.

Later,
Peggy and Minh are sitting at the table over a cup of tea.

Peggy:
So, how do you like my new contacts?

Minh:
You look younger than you normally do?

Peggy:
What does that mean?

Minh:
Never mind. You look fine.

Peggy:
I know. I got the blue contacts, because I believe blue symbolizes
purity and reliability. Im the most reliable person I know.

Minh:
Whatever. (sips coffee)

Peggy:
I wonder how Hank is doing with his contacts.

Out
in the alley, Bill, Boomhauer, and Dale keep quiet while they notice
Hanks new contact lenses.

Bill:
So Hank, what color are your lenses?

Hank:
I wanted brown, to match my own eye color, but they were all out.

Bill:
What color are they now?

Hank
(sighs): Gray.

Brief
silence.

Bill,
Boomhauer, and Dale all laugh out loud.

Dale:
The tears of a clown!

As
the men continue laughing, Hank just walks away.

Hank
(muttering under his breath): Jackasses.

Scene
VI Wheres Joseph?

After
school, Connie rings the doorbell at the Gribbles house.

Connie:
Hi, Mrs. Gribble. Is Joseph home?

Nancy:
No. No hes not, Sug.

Connie:
Do you know when he will be back?

Nancy:
He will be back as soon as you see that hes back. In the
meantime, hes spending time with Mr. Gribble, because hes his
real dad. Hes his real dad! His real dad! Do you hear me Sug?!

Connie:
Sure. But I–

Nancy
slams the door. Connie scratches her head.

Scene
VII Trouble with Contacts

The
next day at Strickland Propane, Hank tries to make some sales with
his new look.

Hank:
These grills require only 72 ounce tanks, and are guaranteed an
easy step-by-step operation system.

The
couple looks questioningly at Hank.

Woman:
Your eyes

Man:
Theyre sogray.

Hank:
Yes, I know. Theyre my contacts.

Woman:
Of course. Actually, were not interested in a grill right now.

The
couple exits the building.

Hank
(to himself): That was the fourth time today.

The
other employees start snickering behind Hanks back.

Buck:
What seems to be the problem? Hank, what on Earth happened to your
eyes?

Hank:
Its my contacts, Sir. My wife got them without my permission,
and now Im stuck with them.

Buck:
Just wear your frames, ol top! The way you look, everybody will
be playing the fool!

Hank
groans.

Later
that day, Peggy is baking some cookies. While she is unloading the
cookies from the oven, Hank walks into the kitchen.

Hank:
Peggy, can we talk?

Peggy:
Sure, Hank.

Hank:
I dont think I like my contacts. Aside from the eye color, its
more of a pain to keep up with than my glasses.

Peggy:
On the contrary Hank, Ive saved our lives from the next car
crash you put us thru. If anything, you should be thanking me.

Hank:
Look, not only did I not cause the car crash, but

Peggy:
Menthey never take responsibility for anything.

Peggy
removes her oven mitts as she places the cookies onto a large cookie
plate.

Hank
just leaves the kitchen feeling quite frustrated.

Scene
VIII Lost My Joseph

As
the group heads out to the van, Nancy calls Bobby inside for a
moment.

As
Bobby is sitting in a chair, Nancy talks from behind him, placing her
hands on his shoulders.

Nancy:
Bobby, Sug, just make sure you remain a loyal friend to Joseph as
long as you can. You understand?

Bobby:
Um, no problem, Mrs. Gribble.

As
Nancy speaks, some of her blonde hair swishes into Bobbys face.

Nancy:
Joseph may be awkward, unruly, and may secretly have an
illegitimate father, but hes still my son, and Ill always love
him.

Bobby:
Really, its no problem. I–

Nancy
walks in front of Bobby and gives him a big hug. Bobbys face is
squished between Nancys breasts.

Nancy:
Thank you Bobby for being Josephs best friend.

She
gives him a big kiss on the forehead.

Bobby
(muffled): NO!!!!!!!

That
afternoon, Connie is waiting on the Hills front stoop. Luannes
car pulls into the driveway. Luanne gets out of the car and to the
front door.

Luanne:
Hi Connie? Whats the matter?

Connie:
I havent seen much of Joseph lately.

Luanne:
Im sure hell be around soon. Hes gotta beat this
depression before it beats him.

Connie:
Yeah, I guess youre right. I hope hes turning out okay with
Bobby, Mr. Gribble, and Mr. Redcorn.

At
the park, Bobby, Joseph, Dale, and John Redcorn spent some time
together at the baseball diamond.

Dale
pitches the ball, and Bobby swings. The ball bunts to the right and
past first base.

Dale:
Yee-haw! Look at that ball go!

Joseph
takes Bobbys place at the batting base. John Redcorn takes Dales
place at the pitchers mound.

John:
Okay, Joseph. Youre up to bat.

Joseph:
Um, Mr. Redcorn. Youre a cool dude and all, but if its
alright, I just want to play this round with Bobby.

John:
But I dont understand, Joseph. Are you not having a good time?

Joseph:
Yeah. But Ive just had a lot going on lately. I need time to
think about stuff.

John
hangs his head.

Dale:
Well, looks like you and me, John.

John:
You go ahead, Dale. I need a moment alone.

Dale:
Okay. Ill be warming up in the meantime.

Dale
walks to the vacant part of the field. John looks over at Joseph and
Bobby playing ball.

John
(to himself): Son. (sheds a tear)

(end of
Act I)